How to avoid heated discussions?

How to avoid heated discussions?

When atoms move faster, they cause an increase in temperature.

In a start up/scale-up, it's natural to have higher entropy within the organisation.
Priorities change, and the product gets pivoted (remember product in discovery is always ambiguous).

In such environments, it's easier to fall in love with a solution and get attached.
We as devs do this all the time. Don't believe me?
Try posting on any dev forum Java is better than .Net .
Do you see the problem now?
We are so focused to be right at the moment, that we forget what the problem was. We just fall in love with the solution.

By doing so, we increase the entropy even further and sometimes forget our boundaries (love knows no boundaries, right?)
We sometimes even forget to be respectful to our colleagues and no one enjoys such an environment, not even atoms, who are not participating in entropy.

So what can you do when you passionately disagree with a colleague?

Be mindful of the tone of your message as that's what matters most.
It's okay to disagree as long as you're doing so respectfully.
When you have a strong reaction/or disagreement with a colleague, steps to follow to avoid disrespectful communication:
1. Quick body scan for increased heart rate, hot cheeks/or ears, indicating your body. is in immediate stress aka fight or flight response.
2. Pause (whatever you're doing/saying).
3. Remove yourself from the situation.
5. Deep breath, glass of cold water, and get that heart rate down.
6. Speak to your Manager or anyone in leadership you feel comfortable with.

What are some of your strategies to de-escalate situations?

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